Happy New Year!
This year I’m not having greens (for money) and black-eyed peas (for luck), which as a proper superstitious semi-Southerner is filling me with vague dread that the New Year is going to go awfully.
On the other hand, last year I had black-eyed peas and greens and I landed in the mental hospital twice. So maybe it works less well than I think.
My New Years Resolutions are as follows:
- Try to become kinder, more compassionate, more empathetic, more understanding. Remember that whole “people are complicated” and “you don’t know what’s going on in people’s lives” and “everyone is the hero of their own story” thing.
- At the same time, be better at expressing my needs. I have this whole complex where I Don’t Want To Be A Burden but then I end up sobbing on the bathroom floor or self-harming or suicidal or ending my relationships with people and all that’s way more burdensome than asking for what I need in the first place.
- If it is out of my control, I do not get to worry or beat myself up about it. Things that are out of my control: the past, the future, other people’s opinions. (Of course, I can still plan for things, but planning feels different/more empowering than worrying. Ugh, I keep using the word ‘empowering,’ it sucks.)
- Figure out how to manage my fucking panic attacks.
- Do empirical research! Don’t die. I’m sure empirical gender-related research is not as hard as it looks. …Right?
- Make enough money that I don’t starve to death or stiff my partners on the rent.
- Learn more things. I am an autodidact by nature and I really need to keep doing that. Specifically, I really want to learn more science, more math, and programming! XD
- Write fiction. I really, really, really miss fiction. I have a Giant List of all the stories I need to write; it’s about time I write them. Fanfic! Short stories! Novels that are basically thinly disguised fanfic!
What are your New Years’ Resolutions? Or, if you don’t do New Years, what are your goals in general?