With rapid technological advancements being made every day, we’re constantly being subjected to new stimuli that can affect our mental health, and as Professor Eric Chung, the Scientific and Clinical Advisor for LTR Pharma explains, that can have a marked impact on sexual performance. “For younger men, erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety can be highly psychological,” Chung says. “Meaning a lot of what goes on downstairs is correlated to what is going on in our minds and bodies.”

Problems with sexual performance aren’t rare. In fact, they’re fairly common nowadays. Recent research published in Sexual Medicine Reviews found that one in four men experience sexual performance anxiety and distress at some stage in their life. But according to Chung, “stigma and embarrassment often pose barriers to starting meaningful conversations and getting the appropriate care and support.” For that reason, understanding how your recreational activities can impact your performance in the bedroom, and knowing how to combat them, is paramount.

Here, we break down how and why some common recreational activities can impact sexual performance.

Excessive porn consumption

The harmful impacts of excessive consumption of pornography have only been exacerbated by recent technological advancements and the increasing ubiquity of smartphones. Professor Chung puts it bluntly, saying that we live in an “environment of hyper-sexualisation”. Today, porn is more accessible than ever before, and as you’d expect, it’s also more popular than ever before. A 2024 study from the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health that drew data from a nationally representative survey found that 80 per cent of Australian men are exposed to pornography by the age of 20.

Porn is not inherently harmful to sexual performance. Chung stresses that “Proper use of pornography can have positive effects if consumed appropriately and can even help with erections and sexual relationships”. But while it can have some benefits specific to individuals, more often than not, excessive porn consumption has a net negative impact.

“Pornography can influence a person’s understanding of sexual behaviours, including what constitutes norms, appropriate and ideal sexual satisfaction,” Chung says. “Men who watch porn can sometimes build an unrealistic expectation around sex and their performance in the bedroom. This can be anything from body image, comparing penile anatomy size, sexual positions, and duration, as well as fetishes.”

These misinformed notions of sex and what constitutes sexual satisfaction can lead to confidence issues and negatively impact a person’s sense of masculinity. As Professor Chung explains, “This can hinder their ability to engage in sexual intimacy and perform in the bedroom.” But that’s not all. “Another perspective is that excessive use of pornography can desensitise and dissociate a person, changing the chemical patterns in an individual’s brain linked to emotion so that they no longer respond to cues that spark arousal from sexual activities,” Chung says.

Gaming

Another development that has been brought about by advancements in the realm of technology, recent studies have shown that a large amount of time spent gaming can increase the likelihood of erectile dysfunction. Sedentary lifestyles in general have been associated with erectile dysfunction, but a recent study in Andrology, which assessed the correlation between leisure activities and erectile dysfunction, found that increased computer usage was associated with a greater risk of developing impotence.

The study also assessed other leisure activities like watching TV and driving but only found a causal association between erectile dysfunction and gaming. It might be time to hang up the headset.

Vaping

Getty Images

The popularity of vapes has skyrocketed in recent years, especially amongst young people. The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that more than 38 per cent of Australians aged 18-24 have used an e-cigarette or vape at least once, and you’ll have difficulty navigating a city crowd, a busy concert, or even a lively pub without detecting a fruity aroma and waft of vapour these days. That rising popularity is coming at a cost to users though.

New research from New York University indicates that frequent vaping more than doubles the likelihood of developing erectile dysfunction. The study surveyed 13,700 men about their smoking habits and health and found that men who vaped daily are more than twice as likely as those who never vape to develop the condition. If you needed another reason to quit, let this be it.

What should you do if you’re having problems in the bedroom?

If you frequently partake in any of the above activities and are having issues with sexual performance, it might be time for a re-evaluation of your lifestyle. While watching porn, gaming and vaping don’t guarantee issues with sexual performance, they do heighten your risk with varying degrees of severity. If you want to reduce your risk, the solution is fairly simple for vaping: quit cold turkey or at least limit your usage. For gaming, balancing sedentary leisure time with an active lifestyle is an obvious fix. But for pornography, the solution can be less clear.

Professor Chung assures us that there are strategies to assist with erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety associated with pornography. “The first is to assess your level of engagement with pornography. Ask what type of pornography is being consumed, how frequently, and what boundaries, if any, are involved,” Chung says. “Secondly, it is important to communicate and set clear, realistic expectations with yourself and your partner to build a healthy sexual relationship. Try to create a space for spontaneous sexual intimacy and build on a sense of trust, safety and support to help ease anxiety and stress in the mind and body.”

Further support can be found in seeking professional help, Chung says. “Be open-minded and seek therapy if necessary. Perhaps there may be underlying issues or psychosexual trauma that need to be acknowledged and addressed. Fortunately, there are many such services available either face-to-face, online or via telehealth.”

If your problems are more serious, there is reason for optimism. LTR Pharma, for whom Professor Chung works as a Scientific and Clinical Advisor, currently has a product called SPONTAN in clinical development to treat erectile dysfunction. SPONTAN is a fast-acting nasal spray designed to treat erectile dysfunction in ten minutes or less. Clinical trials are currently underway, with results expected in coming months.

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The post The lifestyle factors that could be impacting your performance in the bedroom appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Enter Challengers, a movie as much about the intensity of competitive tennis and a love for the game as it is about three specific players and fanatics whose personal (and romantic) lives are so intertwined that they simply cannot get away from one another over the course of more than ten years. Director Luca Guadagnino and writer Justin Kuritzkes infuse Challengers with a sense of frenetic energy and constant sensuality that the film’s trio of stars – Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, and Mike Faist – are 100% game for, and manage to use their charismatic talents and handles on their respective characters to ramp up even more.

The story is framed by a Challenger match between the famous and successful Art (Faist) and the lower-circuit scuffler Patrick (O’Connor), where the winner ostensibly earns a spot to compete at the U.S. Open. But over the course of the match, we learn about their history – as former best friends, doubles partners, and, yes, competitors – and also about Art’s wife/coach Tashi (Zendaya), who was once a phenom herself, catching the attention of both men before an injury cut her career short.

Through the unique relationship between its three leads, Challengers manages to upend any pre-existing ‘sports movie’ expectations you possibly could have had. With the help of Guadagnino’s inventive and exciting filmmaking, along with a Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross score that will make you feel like you just took some kind of VERY intense upper drug, Challengers knows how to please the people watching. The tennis scenes are intense, a form of nonverbal storytelling in and of themselves, and every bit of the film serves to set another vital moment or character trait up.

You’ll walk out of Challengers feeling like you just got a jolt of energy—and probably want to watch it again right away.

What is Challengers about?

Challengers is two types of movie in one: a sports movie – telling an authentic and intense story of three uber-talented tennis players – and a romantic drama, diving deep into a long-evolving relationship between those same three tennis players (who also happen to be complex sexual beings).

The story is simple enough: Art and Patrick are essentially lifelong best friends who are doubles partners, but also face off when they need to. But when they see Tashi Duncan – a tennis prodigy sponsored by Adidas before even attending college—everything changes; they both kind of fall head over heels for her.

The film tells its story in a nonlinear fashion, jumping between the moment when all three met, to its present day Challenger event – where a now-successful Art, now married to Tashi, and a Patrick who lives out of his car are facing off – and everything in between.

The film gains more and more steam as it goes on, both in the bedroom and on the court, climaxing with easily the most exciting ten-minute sequence to hit cinemas so far in 2024.

via Mens Health US

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The post ‘Challengers’ is the horniest sports movie you’ll ever see appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Nowadays, just about every big brand is responding to consumer demand for ethical and sustainable practices by introducing eco-friendly products. But this has also led to a rise in greenwashing, under which a corporation’s commitment to appearing eco-friendly is greater than its commitment to actually making a difference for our planet—often to such an extent that marketing materials can mislead consumers on the eco-friendliness of a product. In this market, it’s important to look for official signifiers of sustainable practices, such as a B-Corp certification.

Beyond all the false promises, mistruths and greenwashing, there lies a selection of sex products that are genuinely eco-friendly and produced without harming the environment. The world’s climate probably won’t collapse because of a few discarded dildos and prostate massagers, but every change to your consumption makes a difference. Here, to mark Earth Day,  we’ve rounded up the best eco-friendly sex products that you can purchase right now. Let’s get into it.

What are the best eco-friendly sex toys?

The Department of Bed Intentions Water-Based Lubricant

The Department of Bed Intentions are new players in Australia’s sexual wellness scene. Having only recently launched, the company has already received B-Corp certification, becoming the first Australian sexual wellness brand to do so. Their hero product is the world’s first microbiome-friendly water-based lubricant. What’s more, the lube is also certified cruelty free and features active ingredients like Green Tea seed extract and fermented Cranberry to soothe and support skin. The packaging is similarly eco-friendly as it’s plastic-free, made from 100% aluminium and is recyclable.

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Frenchie The Beret Condoms

Given that they need to be disposable and can only be used once, condoms could have posed a major threat to the environment, had history gone a little differently. The first ‘condoms’—if you can call them that—were made from animal intestines. But that material doesn’t propagate unbridled desire. And it could hardly be called eco-friendly due to the necessary animal components. The first widely manufactured condoms were made from plastic and are said to have been excruciatingly uncomfortable. Clearly, change was needed, and latex condoms quickly became the norm. Luckily, latex is made from a renewable resource and is biodegradable, but the folks at Frenchie have gone even further with The Beret, making a condom that is free of synthetic ingredients, hypoallergenic, made from natural latex, and is vegan. In addition, as they proudly proclaim, “The only animals these are tested on are those in the sack.”

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Lovehoney Arcwave Ghost Silicone Reusable Reversible Textured Male Stroker

This male stroker from Lovehoney already scores eco-friendly points for being made with sustainable silicone, but in addition to the toy’s materials, its packaging is also designed with the planet in mind. The Arcwave is transitioning to packaging, which is the same size as the product, minimising the use of cardboard and other materials. But eco-friendliness isn’t the only reason this toy is a hit. Made of flexible, textured silicone, the Arcwave can elevate your bedroom experience. It’s also reversible, so you’ll always have options in regard to texture.

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LELO HEX Condoms

As we mentioned earlier, condoms have come a long way since their initial—and thankfully antiquated—interpretations. Now, we have access to protective sensations like LELO’s HEX condoms, which utilise a signature hexagonal structure that is textured on the inside for supreme grip and a barely there feel. They’re also made from 100% natural latex and are produced with no animal by-products, meaning they’re vegan friendly.

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TENGA Flex

Tenga Flex is a male masturbator that is not only reusable, it’s also made of bio-sustainable silicone. With unique spiral-ribbed casing and a malleable interior, the Tenga Flex offers multiple methods of stimulation. Not least of which is the ability to wind and unwind during use, prompting a climax-inducing spiralling movement.

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LUVLOOB Okay Let’s Play Natural Water-Based Lubricant

Water-based lubricants are almost always better for the environment as they use less synthetic materials, but they also frequently offer benefits outside of eco-friendliness. Take LUVLOOB’s water-based lube, for example, which is made with organic and plant-based ingredients like aloe vera, that adds a soothing sensation that’s great for your skin.

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Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential

Most sex toy brands have over the top, nauseatingly lubricious names, but none more so than the ever-prurient Hot Octopuss. Assuringly, Hot Octopuss also do good work, and the Pulse Solo is evidence of the fact. Made of eco-friendly, body-safe silicone with no harmful chemicals, the Pulse Solo is a vibrating male masturbator that utilises oscillating technology to deliver multiple vibration patterns and ultimate pleasure.

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LELO Bruno Prostate Massager

If eco-friendliness is your aim, you should always look for sex toys that are rechargeable, rather than battery powered. LELO’s Bruno prostate massager is one such item. For the man who prefers high end prostate massagers, Bruno is an optimal choice. With two powerful motors situated in the device’s tip and base, Bruno utilises six vibration patterns, a smooth silicone exterior and waterproof layering to get the job done.

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Lovehoney Hot Shot Rechargeable Warming Silicone Male Masturbator

Lovehoney promises you really will feel like a hot shot when using this warming male masturbator, which is rechargeable and made from sustainable silicone. The Hot Shot operates by enveloping the head of the penis, warming the member up to 40 degrees and vibrating in six distinct patterns and three intensities. The result is a world of pleasure you didn’t know was possible.

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LELO TOR 2 Couples’ Ring

Because sometimes it’s not all about you. At time of writing, it’s Valentine’s Day, so why not indulge with the gift of simultaneous pleasure? The TOR 2 is a flexible cock ring with vibrating qualities that offer intense pleasure for both partners. The TOR 2 is also suitably eco-friendly, with a rechargeable lithium-ion battery and a phthalate-free silicone design made from entirely body-safe materials.

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The post Our Earth Day picks of the best eco-friendly sex toys and products appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Straight or gay, top or bottom, you generally try to maximise your time when it comes to the gym, health, and grooming; why not do the same for your self-pleasure? So, put on your adventurous hat and get ready to learn about the benefits of prostate massagers. Trust us, your prostate will thank you for it.

So, read on to discover some of the most popular and highly-rated prostate massagers on the market.

Finding the prostate

The prostate is a vital gland in the male anatomy and finding this little wonder can feel like an epic quest shrouded in mystery. Situated just below the bladder and in front of the rectum, it’s about the size of a walnut and plays a crucial role in reproductive health. To locate it manually,  insert a lubricated finger into the rectum and feel for a small, firm bump along the front wall. This process, known as prostate massage or examination, requires patience and gentle exploration. While finding the prostate may seem daunting at first, understanding its location and function is also essential for maintaining overall health and wellbeing.

Lubing up

Lubrication is paramount when it comes to prostate massaging, as it ensures a comfortable and pleasurable experience while reducing the risk of injury or discomfort. The anus and rectum lack natural lubrication, making it essential to use a high-quality lubricant to facilitate smooth insertion and movement of the massager. Lubing up also promotes relaxation, easing any tension or apprehension that may arise during the process. Overall, prioritising lubrication ensures a safe, enjoyable, and effective prostate massage experience.

Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager

Starting our list, we begin with a ‘rookie’ device, literally, the Lovehoney Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager is the perfect initiation into the world of backdoor bliss. Its sleek design, ten-mode functions and waterproof features hit the mark for an affordable massager. This cheeky Rookie knows how to hit the spot and leave you craving an encore. At a fraction of the price, it’s the go-to introductory tool for self-pleasure. 

• Waterproof: Yes 
• Insertable length: 4.5 inches

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High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

Moving on to another affordable number from Lovehoney, the High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is a game-changer in intimate pleasure. This sleek and discreet device is engineered for optimal comfort and satisfaction. With its innovative rotating head and powerful vibrations, it precisely targets the prostate for intense stimulation. The wireless remote control allows for effortless operation and hands-free play, making solo or partnered exploration a breeze. Designed with both beginners and experienced users in mind, it offers customisable sensations to suit individual preferences. Crafted from high-quality materials, the High Roller ensures durability and long-lasting enjoyment without breaking the bank account. 

• Insertable length: 4.5 inches
• Waterproof: Yes
• Three speeds and seven vibration pattern

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Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager

Introducing the Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager and possibly the newest stealthy sidekick to your wildest fantasies. A fitting name given ribbed design and powerful vibrations, it’s like having a secret weapon in your pleasure arsenal. Say goodbye to dull moments and hello to a thrilling adventure of pleasure. Whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned pro, with 10 vibration functions and a curved shape for precise placement, the Magic Missile is here to launch you into a realm of climax.

• Insertable Length: 4.5 inches
• Waterproof: Splash proof

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We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager

The We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager is a backstage game-changer in the realm of male pleasure devices. Take a look at the design. The Vector+ is crafted with body-safe silicone, ensuring a comfortable and luxurious experience. Its ergonomic shape fits snugly, targeting the p-spot with precision. However, the app and remote control capabilities are the real standout features. The app allows for customisable vibration patterns and intensity levels, putting complete control at your fingertips, whether flying solo or engaging with a partner. The remote control functionality adds an extra layer of excitement and convenience. Dual motors and a rechargeable battery ensure long-lasting top-tier enjoyment. 

• Adjustable head and flexible base
• Insertable Length: 4 inches
• Waterproof: Yes 

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Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager

The Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager is a masterpiece of innovation and pleasure engineering. Its sleek design and premium materials exude luxury, setting it apart from the competition. Combining rotating and vibrating functions to deliver intense prostate stimulation, this leads to a blissful and unforgettable experience. What truly sets it apart is the Wave motion technology, which creates a unique ‘come-hither‘ sensation, enhancing the massage to unprecedented levels of ecstasy. The ergonomic shape ensures a comfortable fit, while the rechargeable battery provides long-lasting enjoyment. 

• Insertable length: 4 inches
• Waterproof: Submersible
• Run Time: 120 minutes

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Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager

The Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager redefines the pinnacle of intimate pleasure. Crafted with precision and sophistication, this device offers a luxurious experience. Its sleek design, made from premium silicone, ensures both comfort and durability. With app-controlled functionality, users can easily customise their experience, adjusting vibration patterns and intensity levels to suit their desires. The ergonomic shape and size provide targeted stimulation to the prostate, leading to intense and fulfilling sensations. Whether used solo or with a partner, the Hugo 2 enhances intimate moments and elevates pleasure to new heights. Embrace the epitome of indulgence with the Lelo Hugo 2, a must-have addition to any pleasure seeker flying solo. 

• Length: 4.2 inches
• Waterproof: Yes
• USB rechargeable

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Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager

Get ready to shake up your world (in your own time) with the Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager. Its sleek design and powerful vibrations make it the ultimate tool for exploring uncharted territories of pleasure. Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned explorer, the Wonder knows how to push your buttons correctly. With a whopping 10 vibration functions, an easy-grip handle base, and magnetic USB charging, this little gem takes style and simplicity to a whole new level. 

• Insertable length: 3.7 Inches
• Waterproof: Splash proof (IPX5)
• Adjustable external arm for a perfect fit

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Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

The Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is the Maverick of pleasure gadgets. With its remote control and mind-blowing rotating action, it’s like having your own personal pleasure commander, taking prostate play to the next level with its daring design and powerful vibrations. Whether you’re a novice or a seasoned connoisseur, the Revo Extreme knows how to rock your world; six external vibration modes and two bidirectional internal rotation speeds are also on offer, and the craziest detail is the technologies combined with 34 possible pleasure settings. So say goodbye to monotony and hello to a whirlwind of excitement. 

• Insertable Length: 5 inches
• Waterproof: Submersible
• Six vibration functions

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The post The ultimate guide to prostate massagers appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

sometimes I don’t last as long as I’d like in bed. What’s your advice for improving my stamina?”

IMPROVING STAMINA IN the bedroom is a common goal for many penis owners, so you’re definitely not alone in this. Let’s break it down and dive into some tips to help you go the distance.

First up, let’s talk about cock rings. These little devices can be a game-changer when it comes to stamina. How do they work? By constricting blood flow out of the penis, they can help maintain a stronger and longer-lasting erection. Plus, they can enhance sensitivity, leading to more intense orgasms. Experimenting with different types and sizes can help you find what works best for you. Just remember to use them safely and not leave them on for too long to avoid any unwanted side effects.

Next, let’s tackle the art of edging. This technique involves bringing yourself, or your partner, close to the brink of orgasm, then backing off before reaching the point of no return. By doing this repeatedly, you can train your body to delay ejaculation and build up your stamina over time. It’s like a workout for your sexual stamina muscles. Plus, it can add a whole new level of anticipation and pleasure to your sex life.

Exploring sexual techniques further, the ‘stop-start method’ offers a hands-on way to boost stamina. It’s pretty straightforward: get stimulated up to the point where you’re just about to climax, then hit the pause button on all the action to let that excitement cool down. After cooling down for a bit, you’re back at it. Doing this a few times while you’re getting busy helps teach your body to hold off on ejaculation, slowly but surely increasing your control and lengthening the time you can keep going.

Edging and the start-stop method are all about boosting your sexual staying power and getting a grip on when you climax. The difference is, with edging, you ride the wave right up to the edge before you dial down the excitement, keeping that buzz going longer. The start-stop technique? That’s hitting the pause button completely, letting things cool off before ramping up again.

In addition to these techniques, incorporating regular exercise into your routine can also make a big difference. Cardiovascular workouts, like running or swimming, can improve blood flow and overall endurance, which can translate to better performance in the bedroom.

Strength training exercises, like squats and deadlifts, can also help boost testosterone levels, which can enhance libido and stamina.

And let’s not forget about the power of communication. Talking openly with your partner about your desires, concerns, and what feels good can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience for both of you. Plus, it can take some of the pressure off performance, allowing you to relax and enjoy the moment.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the importance of relaxation and stress management. Stress and anxiety can have a major impact on sexual performance, so finding healthy ways to unwind and de-stress, whether it’s through meditation, yoga, or just taking some time for yourself, can help improve your stamina in the bedroom.

Remember, it’s all about finding what works best for you and your partner, so don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun along the way.

For those looking for structured guidance, my Premature Ejaculation Course is tailored specifically to help penis owners improve their stamina through strategies, exercises, and advice. Check out more details here.

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So . . . what is astrology? 

Astrology and dating 

Matt Galea

Astrology has become increasingly popular on dating apps, with ‘zodiac’ being one of the top five descriptors used by both men and women in Australia, making it an excellent conversation starter. According to a global survey, 30 per cent of Gen Z individuals admit to checking their date’s star sign before going out, while 42 per cent of Australians consider star sign compatibility essential. Galea’s guide is designed to help men who need to be better-versed in spirituality gain confidence and understanding in astrology, leading to more meaningful conversations and connections.

Using astrology to mix and match

Stars and strikes

Here is Galea’s breakdown of each star sign in terms of personality and behavioural tendencies, plus his recommended conversation starters

Aries: March 21 – April 19

If you’re after someone with a bold, take-charge attitude, then Aries is the match for you. They’re usually the first one to make a move. If they’re keen on you, it’ll be pretty obvious.

The best convo starter: “Do you watch or play any sport?”

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

This stable, down-to-earth sign has no time for BS and they’re looking for the same thing in a partner. Are they high maintenance? Sure, they cost a little more, but they’re worth it!

The best convo starter: “If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

Gemini: May 21 – June 21

This intellectual air sign is outgoing, curious and keen to get out there and meet new people.

The best convo starter: “What’s the last gig you went to and what’s the next?”

Cancer: June 22 – July 22

At this point you’re essentially ready to jump back on Tinder and swipe with confidence. Before you do, though, immerse yourself in celestial slang to prove that you’re a true cosmic pro 

Ascendant

It’s like the astrological equivalent of your personal brand. Your rising sign, also known as the ascendant, is all about how you present yourself to the world and how others perceive you. It’s like your astrological first impression, so make it count.

Birth chart 

Crystals 

Gemstones believed to possess different energies that can affect change in our lives.

Air signs 

Earth signs 

Water signs

Mercury retrograde

Venus retrograde 

Tarot cards

Become a star-crossed lover

Galea’s tips to applying your newfound astrological acumen to your love life

Add your zodiac sign to your Tinder profile

Break the ice with star-studded conversation

The post Could astrology hold the key to boosting your success in online dating? appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Unfortunately, it happens more than it should. Ever heard of the “orgasm gap”? The term refers to the proven fact that straight, cis men orgasm during sex significantly more often than their partners do. A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that these men orgasm 95 per cent of the time, whereas straight, cis women only orgasm 65 per cent of the time. The disparity has nothing to do with vulva owners’ anatomy; that same study found that cisgender lesbians orgasm 86 per cent of the time during sex, and additional research shows that vulva owners have no problem reaching orgasm during masturbation.

When it comes to making your partner orgasm, the key is thinking beyond intercourse alone. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that it took between 12.76 and 14.06 minutes for the average vulva owner to reach climax during penetrative sex—roughly double the 5 to 7 minutes it typically takes penis-owners. And fewer than 1 in 5 vulva-owners are able to orgasm from penetration alone, according to the Mayo Clinic.

So how can you help your partner reach orgasm? Before you make it your life’s mission, a quick warning: While orgasms feel amazing, the act of chasing them can add a lot of pressure to your sex life. Recent research has focused on “orgasm coercion”: the idea that trying too hard to make your partner come can put pressure on them, which feels like coercion. People on the receiving end of orgasm coercion may feel like their climax is more about their partner’s need to feel “man enough” than it is about their pleasure. Talk to your partner to see if they feel this way. If they do, discuss what you can do to help take the pressure off.

How to make your partner orgasm

With all that said, let’s talk orgasms. If you want to help your partner climax—or make their orgasms even better than they already are—try these tips from sexual health experts.

1) Don’t race toward your partner’s orgasm

“Try to remember the goal of sex is pleasure, and orgasm is one kind of pleasure that is significantly shorter than all the rest of it,” says Shadeen Francis, LMFT. That’s why Francis recommends slowing down. Take your time with your movements, and don’t focus on the end game. There is a slight irony to it—the more your partner thinks about orgasming, the less likely they will be to orgasm. So take the pressure off of your partner and focus on making them feel as good as possible for as long as possible. (We refer to this slow-down technique as closing the “pleasure gap.”)

2) Incorporate external clitoral stimulation

First thing’s first: the vast majority of vulva-owners require external clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. In fact, a study of more than 1,000 vulva-owners in 2017 revealed that only 18% of participants could orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So when you’re having sex, you want to focus on external stimulation alone or in combination with some form of penetration.

If you want to stimulate your partner’s clitoris during P-in-V intercourse, some sex positions make it easier to do than others. Rachel* is a fan of the coital alignment technique, or CAT: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” This tactic is even more orgasmic if your partner’s legs are together and you’re straddling them, says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., a health educator who also teaches at the City University of New York’s City Tech campus. You can achieve the same effect when they’re on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with their clitoris.

3) Opt for specific positions

Speaking of the clitoris, there are some sex positions that come out on top (see what we did there?) when it comes to providing that sought-after stimulation.

According to Gigi Engle, SKYN’s resident sex expert, one of the best sex positions for clitoral contact is the lotus. In this position, you start seated and cross-legged, while your vulva-owning partner sits on your lap facing you and wraps their legs around your back. For a slightly less strenuous modification, you can also try the lotus position seated in a chair.

Engle likes this position because, like with the coital alignment technique, it entails sliding back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.

“It allows for more grinding against your partner’s body for that good old external stimulation,” she Engle.

Rebecca Glass, LMSW, a sex and relationship therapist, notes that cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also stellar positions for getting some clitoral contact because the vulva owner has complete control over the angle of penetration.

4) Pay more attention to their butt

Unless anal is on the menu, butts are typically sidelined during sex. And that’s a shame, because “the buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., an internationally-known relationship expert. To give your partner “a surprising jolt of pleasure,” spread your fingers wide and squeeze their cheeks.

That said, you should ask your partner if they’re into booty squeezing first. If they’re down, be gentle, and take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are people out there who crave a good, hard spanking, but that needs to be discussed and agreed on before the butt smacking begins.

5) Learn what your partner likes, and follow their lead

As we mentioned above, direct, external clitoral stimulation is the most surefire way to bring many vulva-owners to orgasm—and oral sex is a pretty good way of going about that. Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, says that using your mouth is the best way to get a sense of what your partner likes at every stage of arousal, including the stage just before orgasm. You’ll know your partner is becoming more aroused if you notice increased vaginal lubrication or if the external portion of their clitoris or their entire vulva swells. The clitoris—including the wishbone-shaped portion that’s underneath the skin—is made of erectile tissue just like the penis, so if your partner’s genitals increase in size, you’re doing a good job!

To find out more about your partner’s preferences, let them take the lead. When you’re giving them oral sex, get between their legs and give them a solid base of lips, tongue, and even chin (if you have a clean, smooth shave, that is) to rub against. While your partner does the grinding, note how hard they’re pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or mouth to please them.

6) Don’t stop kissing them

Once things get more heated, you might be tempted to focus less on kissing in favour of more X-rated pleasures. But deep kissing is often a must for reaching orgasm, according to a 2017 survey of more than 50,000 adults. The findings revealed that vulva-owners were much more likely to reach orgasm if their sexual encounter included a combination of deep kissing, oral sex, and genital stimulation.

7) Indulge their fantasies

Ask your partner if they have any fantasies they’d like to explore. “Fantasies can increase arousal during a sexual experience,” says Francis. “Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add another layer of pleasure during sex.” It’s also a way to get your partner more psychologically aroused, which is just as important (if not more important) than physical arousal when it comes to having an orgasm. One study found that vulva-owners with lower sexual desire tend to require mental arousal in order to recognise their physical arousal. Try role play or tell your partner an erotic story to kick their pleasure up a notch.

8) Talk dirty to them

“Dirty talk” doesn’t have to include four-letter words. Describe what you’re doing to your partner, or say what you want them to do to you. If you’re hesitant, a simple compliment about how attractive you find your partner will do the trick. And if your partner has told you in advance that they’re turned on by specific words and phrases, pepper those into the dialogue, too.

9) Lube up

No matter how hot and heavy you’re getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful for your partner. While lube is absolutely necessary for anal sex (butts don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do), it’s helpful for vaginal penetration and external stimulation, too—it can even make fingering more pleasurable. “Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs.

Remember that needing lube doesn’t mean your partner isn’t turned on—some bodies just get wetter than others. Plus, medication, hormonal imbalances, menopause, stress, and dehydration can all decrease the body’s natural lubrication, so there’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra slippery stuff. Using lube makes sex more comfortable for everyone involved. In fact, a 2011 study found that using lube enhances sexual pleasure for vulva-owners. Just remember that if you’re using condoms, you should stick with water-based or silicone-based lube, since oil-based lube can damage latex.

The post 15 secrets to making a partner orgasm every single time appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

I’ve always been curious about the idea of exploring different kinks, like spanking or voyeurism, but find it’s something I can’t talk about with my mates. Is it normal to be curious about this?”

Absolutely, it’s completely normal to be curious about exploring different kinks. In fact, curiosity about kinks is more common than you might think. It’s just that not everyone feels comfortable discussing it openly, especially with their friends.

First off, let’s talk about what we mean by “kinks.” Kinks are basically any sexual preferences or activities that fall outside of what’s considered mainstream or vanilla.

The range of kinks spans from mild to wild, encompassing a diverse spectrum of sexual preferences and activities. Mild kinks may include playful role-playing, light bondage, or sensual sensory play, offering a gentle introduction to exploring sexual desires. Moving along the spectrum, moderate kinks like spanking, exhibitionism, or foot fetishism delve deeper into alternative desires, adding elements of power dynamics or sensory stimulation. At the more extreme end, wild kinks such as BDSM, edgeplay, or water sports involve intense forms of power exchange, risk exploration, or unconventional practices that push the boundaries of conventional sexual expression. What defines mild or wild varies from person to person, but we need to emphasise the importance of open communication, mutual consent, and respect for individual boundaries when exploring the diverse world of kinks.

Now, why might you be curious about exploring kinks? Well, there are a bunch of reasons. Maybe you’ve stumbled across something online that made you curious, or perhaps you’ve had a fantasy or two that got you thinking about it. Maybe you’re just curious about pushing your sexual boundaries and trying something new. Whatever the reason, it’s all good and as long as you are maintaining safety and consent, then it’s something to be excited about!

But here’s the thing—talking about kinks can be a bit of a taboo topic, especially among friends. Society tends to have some pretty strict ideas about what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, and anything outside of that can be seen as a bit, well, out there. So it’s understandable that you might feel a bit hesitant to bring it up with your friends.

That’s where I come in. As a sex therapist, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with being curious about kinks. In fact, exploring your sexual interests in a safe and consensual way can be a really positive thing. It can help you learn more about yourself, deepen your connection with your partner(s), and even spice up your sex life.

So how can you go about exploring your curiosity about kinks? Well, first off, it’s important to remember that communication is key. If you’re in a relationship, talking openly and honestly with your partner about your interests and fantasies can be a great way to start exploring together. And if you’re single, there are plenty of ways to safely explore kinks on your own or with a trusted partner.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s okay to take things slow. You don’t have to dive headfirst into the deep end of the kink pool if you’re not ready. Start by doing some research, maybe reading up on different kinks like BDSM, role-playing, or sensory play, or talking to people who are experienced in the scene. And when you do start experimenting, make sure to prioritise safety and consent above all else.

Now, I don’t think I need to mention this, but not everyone is into kinks, and that’s totally okay, too. We’re all different, and what works for one person might not work for another. The key is to stay true to yourself and your own desires, whatever they may be, but remember to ALWAYS respect others desires and always ask for consent. I don’t like hearing horror stories of people who have had kink practices explored on them without being told beforehand.

So to sum it all up, yes, it’s totally normal to be curious about exploring different kinks. And while it might not be the easiest topic to broach with your friends, know that there are plenty of people out there—including yours truly—who are more than happy to talk about it with you. So don’t be afraid to embrace your curiosity and start exploring—who knows what you might discover along the way!

Related:

Asking for a mate with Chantelle Otten: hair loss

A list of 30 sexual kinks and fetishes we know you’re curious about

The post Asking for a mate… with Chantelle Otten appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.