Sexual Health Archives - Men's Health Magazine Australia https://menshealth.com.au/category/sex/sexual-health/ Fitness, Health, Weight Loss, Nutrition, Sex & Style Tue, 30 Apr 2024 07:29:58 +0000 en-AU hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.4 https://menshealth.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/cropped-Mens-Health-32x32.jpeg Sexual Health Archives - Men's Health Magazine Australia https://menshealth.com.au/category/sex/sexual-health/ 32 32 The lifestyle factors that could be impacting your performance in the bedroom https://menshealth.com.au/lifestyle-factors-sexual-performance-erectile-dysfunction/ Tue, 30 Apr 2024 07:29:58 +0000 https://menshealth.com.au/?p=58333 Success in the bedroom hinges on what happens outside of it. A number of external factors can cause sexual performance anxiety and even erectile dysfunction. These are the ones you should look out for

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BY THIS POINT, it should be common knowledge that the factors that impact sexual performance aren’t isolated to what happens in the bedroom. Thanks to the advent of the internet, we no longer need to rely on awkward sex-ed classes at school – or worse, our parents – for information on sex. Because of that, knowledge of how certain lifestyle factors like stress, dietary intake and disrupted sleep can impact sexual performance are only ever a quick Google search away. Yet, there’s less information on the role of recreational activities in impacting sexual performance – and they certainly aren’t talked about between mates.

With rapid technological advancements being made every day, we’re constantly being subjected to new stimuli that can affect our mental health, and as Professor Eric Chung, the Scientific and Clinical Advisor for LTR Pharma explains, that can have a marked impact on sexual performance. “For younger men, erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety can be highly psychological,” Chung says. “Meaning a lot of what goes on downstairs is correlated to what is going on in our minds and bodies.”

Problems with sexual performance aren’t rare. In fact, they’re fairly common nowadays. Recent research published in Sexual Medicine Reviews found that one in four men experience sexual performance anxiety and distress at some stage in their life. But according to Chung, “stigma and embarrassment often pose barriers to starting meaningful conversations and getting the appropriate care and support.” For that reason, understanding how your recreational activities can impact your performance in the bedroom, and knowing how to combat them, is paramount.

Here, we break down how and why some common recreational activities can impact sexual performance.

Excessive porn consumption

The harmful impacts of excessive consumption of pornography have only been exacerbated by recent technological advancements and the increasing ubiquity of smartphones. Professor Chung puts it bluntly, saying that we live in an “environment of hyper-sexualisation”. Today, porn is more accessible than ever before, and as you’d expect, it’s also more popular than ever before. A 2024 study from the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health that drew data from a nationally representative survey found that 80 per cent of Australian men are exposed to pornography by the age of 20.

Porn is not inherently harmful to sexual performance. Chung stresses that “Proper use of pornography can have positive effects if consumed appropriately and can even help with erections and sexual relationships”. But while it can have some benefits specific to individuals, more often than not, excessive porn consumption has a net negative impact.

“Pornography can influence a person’s understanding of sexual behaviours, including what constitutes norms, appropriate and ideal sexual satisfaction,” Chung says. “Men who watch porn can sometimes build an unrealistic expectation around sex and their performance in the bedroom. This can be anything from body image, comparing penile anatomy size, sexual positions, and duration, as well as fetishes.”

These misinformed notions of sex and what constitutes sexual satisfaction can lead to confidence issues and negatively impact a person’s sense of masculinity. As Professor Chung explains, “This can hinder their ability to engage in sexual intimacy and perform in the bedroom.” But that’s not all. “Another perspective is that excessive use of pornography can desensitise and dissociate a person, changing the chemical patterns in an individual’s brain linked to emotion so that they no longer respond to cues that spark arousal from sexual activities,” Chung says.

Gaming

Another development that has been brought about by advancements in the realm of technology, recent studies have shown that a large amount of time spent gaming can increase the likelihood of erectile dysfunction. Sedentary lifestyles in general have been associated with erectile dysfunction, but a recent study in Andrology, which assessed the correlation between leisure activities and erectile dysfunction, found that increased computer usage was associated with a greater risk of developing impotence.

The study also assessed other leisure activities like watching TV and driving but only found a causal association between erectile dysfunction and gaming. It might be time to hang up the headset.

Vaping

Vaping

Getty Images

The popularity of vapes has skyrocketed in recent years, especially amongst young people. The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that more than 38 per cent of Australians aged 18-24 have used an e-cigarette or vape at least once, and you’ll have difficulty navigating a city crowd, a busy concert, or even a lively pub without detecting a fruity aroma and waft of vapour these days. That rising popularity is coming at a cost to users though.

New research from New York University indicates that frequent vaping more than doubles the likelihood of developing erectile dysfunction. The study surveyed 13,700 men about their smoking habits and health and found that men who vaped daily are more than twice as likely as those who never vape to develop the condition. If you needed another reason to quit, let this be it.

What should you do if you’re having problems in the bedroom?

If you frequently partake in any of the above activities and are having issues with sexual performance, it might be time for a re-evaluation of your lifestyle. While watching porn, gaming and vaping don’t guarantee issues with sexual performance, they do heighten your risk with varying degrees of severity. If you want to reduce your risk, the solution is fairly simple for vaping: quit cold turkey or at least limit your usage. For gaming, balancing sedentary leisure time with an active lifestyle is an obvious fix. But for pornography, the solution can be less clear.

Professor Chung assures us that there are strategies to assist with erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety associated with pornography. “The first is to assess your level of engagement with pornography. Ask what type of pornography is being consumed, how frequently, and what boundaries, if any, are involved,” Chung says. “Secondly, it is important to communicate and set clear, realistic expectations with yourself and your partner to build a healthy sexual relationship. Try to create a space for spontaneous sexual intimacy and build on a sense of trust, safety and support to help ease anxiety and stress in the mind and body.”

Further support can be found in seeking professional help, Chung says. “Be open-minded and seek therapy if necessary. Perhaps there may be underlying issues or psychosexual trauma that need to be acknowledged and addressed. Fortunately, there are many such services available either face-to-face, online or via telehealth.”

If your problems are more serious, there is reason for optimism. LTR Pharma, for whom Professor Chung works as a Scientific and Clinical Advisor, currently has a product called SPONTAN in clinical development to treat erectile dysfunction. SPONTAN is a fast-acting nasal spray designed to treat erectile dysfunction in ten minutes or less. Clinical trials are currently underway, with results expected in coming months.

 

Related:

There’s a stigma surrounding below the belt issues for men. This Aussie doctor wants to change that

Meet Tom Haddon, a testicular cancer survivor raising awareness and breaking down stigma

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The ultimate guide to prostate massagers https://menshealth.com.au/the-ultimate-guide-to-prostate-massagers/ Mon, 22 Apr 2024 02:18:00 +0000 https://menshealth.com.au/?p=58071 Say goodbye to confusion and discomfort, and hello to a world of pleasure and exploration. Seasoned pro or a newbie, we've got you covered

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AH, THE PROSTATE. It’s the source of so much confusion, misinformation, and awkwardness. But fear not, because you’re about to discover the wonderful world of prostate massagers. Yes, you read that right. These little devices are designed to help you explore your prostate gland in a safe and pleasurable way. 

Straight or gay, top or bottom, you generally try to maximise your time when it comes to the gym, health, and grooming; why not do the same for your self-pleasure? So, put on your adventurous hat and get ready to learn about the benefits of prostate massagers. Trust us, your prostate will thank you for it.

So, read on to discover some of the most popular and highly-rated prostate massagers on the market.

Finding the prostate

The prostate is a vital gland in the male anatomy and finding this little wonder can feel like an epic quest shrouded in mystery. Situated just below the bladder and in front of the rectum, it’s about the size of a walnut and plays a crucial role in reproductive health. To locate it manually,  insert a lubricated finger into the rectum and feel for a small, firm bump along the front wall. This process, known as prostate massage or examination, requires patience and gentle exploration. While finding the prostate may seem daunting at first, understanding its location and function is also essential for maintaining overall health and wellbeing.

Lubing up

Lubrication is paramount when it comes to prostate massaging, as it ensures a comfortable and pleasurable experience while reducing the risk of injury or discomfort. The anus and rectum lack natural lubrication, making it essential to use a high-quality lubricant to facilitate smooth insertion and movement of the massager. Lubing up also promotes relaxation, easing any tension or apprehension that may arise during the process. Overall, prioritising lubrication ensures a safe, enjoyable, and effective prostate massage experience.

Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager

Starting our list, we begin with a ‘rookie’ device, literally, the Lovehoney Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager is the perfect initiation into the world of backdoor bliss. Its sleek design, ten-mode functions and waterproof features hit the mark for an affordable massager. This cheeky Rookie knows how to hit the spot and leave you craving an encore. At a fraction of the price, it’s the go-to introductory tool for self-pleasure. 

  • Waterproof: Yes 
  • Insertable length: 4.5 inches

SHOP NOW

 

High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

Moving on to another affordable number from Lovehoney, the High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is a game-changer in intimate pleasure. This sleek and discreet device is engineered for optimal comfort and satisfaction. With its innovative rotating head and powerful vibrations, it precisely targets the prostate for intense stimulation. The wireless remote control allows for effortless operation and hands-free play, making solo or partnered exploration a breeze. Designed with both beginners and experienced users in mind, it offers customisable sensations to suit individual preferences. Crafted from high-quality materials, the High Roller ensures durability and long-lasting enjoyment without breaking the bank account. 

  • Insertable length: 4.5 inches
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Three speeds and seven vibration pattern

SHOP NOW

 

Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager

Introducing the Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager and possibly the newest stealthy sidekick to your wildest fantasies. A fitting name given ribbed design and powerful vibrations, it’s like having a secret weapon in your pleasure arsenal. Say goodbye to dull moments and hello to a thrilling adventure of pleasure. Whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned pro, with 10 vibration functions and a curved shape for precise placement, the Magic Missile is here to launch you into a realm of climax.

  • Insertable Length: 4.5 inches
  • Waterproof: Splash proof

SHOP NOW

 

We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager

The We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager is a backstage game-changer in the realm of male pleasure devices. Take a look at the design. The Vector+ is crafted with body-safe silicone, ensuring a comfortable and luxurious experience. Its ergonomic shape fits snugly, targeting the p-spot with precision. However, the app and remote control capabilities are the real standout features. The app allows for customisable vibration patterns and intensity levels, putting complete control at your fingertips, whether flying solo or engaging with a partner. The remote control functionality adds an extra layer of excitement and convenience. Dual motors and a rechargeable battery ensure long-lasting top-tier enjoyment. 

  • Adjustable head and flexible base
  • Insertable Length: 4 inches
  • Waterproof: Yes 

SHOP NOW

 

Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager

The Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager is a masterpiece of innovation and pleasure engineering. Its sleek design and premium materials exude luxury, setting it apart from the competition. Combining rotating and vibrating functions to deliver intense prostate stimulation, this leads to a blissful and unforgettable experience. What truly sets it apart is the Wave motion technology, which creates a unique ‘come-hither‘ sensation, enhancing the massage to unprecedented levels of ecstasy. The ergonomic shape ensures a comfortable fit, while the rechargeable battery provides long-lasting enjoyment. 

  • Insertable length: 4 inches
  • Waterproof: Submersible
  • Run Time: 120 minutes

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Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager

The Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager redefines the pinnacle of intimate pleasure. Crafted with precision and sophistication, this device offers a luxurious experience. Its sleek design, made from premium silicone, ensures both comfort and durability. With app-controlled functionality, users can easily customise their experience, adjusting vibration patterns and intensity levels to suit their desires. The ergonomic shape and size provide targeted stimulation to the prostate, leading to intense and fulfilling sensations. Whether used solo or with a partner, the Hugo 2 enhances intimate moments and elevates pleasure to new heights. Embrace the epitome of indulgence with the Lelo Hugo 2, a must-have addition to any pleasure seeker flying solo. 

 

  • Length: 4.2 inches
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • USB rechargeable

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Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager

Get ready to shake up your world (in your own time) with the Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager. Its sleek design and powerful vibrations make it the ultimate tool for exploring uncharted territories of pleasure. Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned explorer, the Wonder knows how to push your buttons correctly. With a whopping 10 vibration functions, an easy-grip handle base, and magnetic USB charging, this little gem takes style and simplicity to a whole new level. 

  • Insertable length: 3.7 Inches
  • Waterproof: Splash proof (IPX5)
  • Adjustable external arm for a perfect fit

 

SHOP NOW

 

Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

The Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is the Maverick of pleasure gadgets. With its remote control and mind-blowing rotating action, it’s like having your own personal pleasure commander, taking prostate play to the next level with its daring design and powerful vibrations. Whether you’re a novice or a seasoned connoisseur, the Revo Extreme knows how to rock your world; six external vibration modes and two bidirectional internal rotation speeds are also on offer, and the craziest detail is the technologies combined with 34 possible pleasure settings. So say goodbye to monotony and hello to a whirlwind of excitement. 

  • Insertable Length: 5 inches
  • Waterproof: Submersible
  • Six vibration functions

SHOP NOW


Related: 

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15 secrets to making a partner orgasm every single time https://menshealth.com.au/15-secrets-to-making-a-partner-orgasm-every-single-time/ Thu, 14 Mar 2024 05:35:03 +0000 https://menshealth.com.au/?p=56647 Try out some of these new moves and go-to tips to level up your bedroom game and bring your partner over the edge every time.

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WE TEND TO JUDGE how “good” we are in bed by how frequently we make our partner(s) orgasm. That’s not necessarily accurate—since sexual pleasure is about way more than orgasm—but still, it can be disappointing for everyone involved when you climax and your partner doesn’t.

Unfortunately, it happens more than it should. Ever heard of the “orgasm gap”? The term refers to the proven fact that straight, cis men orgasm during sex significantly more often than their partners do. A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that these men orgasm 95 per cent of the time, whereas straight, cis women only orgasm 65 per cent of the time. The disparity has nothing to do with vulva owners’ anatomy; that same study found that cisgender lesbians orgasm 86 per cent of the time during sex, and additional research shows that vulva owners have no problem reaching orgasm during masturbation.

When it comes to making your partner orgasm, the key is thinking beyond intercourse alone. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that it took between 12.76 and 14.06 minutes for the average vulva owner to reach climax during penetrative sex—roughly double the 5 to 7 minutes it typically takes penis-owners. And fewer than 1 in 5 vulva-owners are able to orgasm from penetration alone, according to the Mayo Clinic.

So how can you help your partner reach orgasm? Before you make it your life’s mission, a quick warning: While orgasms feel amazing, the act of chasing them can add a lot of pressure to your sex life. Recent research has focused on “orgasm coercion”: the idea that trying too hard to make your partner come can put pressure on them, which feels like coercion. People on the receiving end of orgasm coercion may feel like their climax is more about their partner’s need to feel “man enough” than it is about their pleasure. Talk to your partner to see if they feel this way. If they do, discuss what you can do to help take the pressure off.

How to make your partner orgasm

With all that said, let’s talk orgasms. If you want to help your partner climax—or make their orgasms even better than they already are—try these tips from sexual health experts.

1) Don’t race toward your partner’s orgasm

“Try to remember the goal of sex is pleasure, and orgasm is one kind of pleasure that is significantly shorter than all the rest of it,” says Shadeen Francis, LMFT. That’s why Francis recommends slowing down. Take your time with your movements, and don’t focus on the end game. There is a slight irony to it—the more your partner thinks about orgasming, the less likely they will be to orgasm. So take the pressure off of your partner and focus on making them feel as good as possible for as long as possible. (We refer to this slow-down technique as closing the “pleasure gap.”)

2) Incorporate external clitoral stimulation

First thing’s first: the vast majority of vulva-owners require external clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. In fact, a study of more than 1,000 vulva-owners in 2017 revealed that only 18% of participants could orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So when you’re having sex, you want to focus on external stimulation alone or in combination with some form of penetration.

If you want to stimulate your partner’s clitoris during P-in-V intercourse, some sex positions make it easier to do than others. Rachel* is a fan of the coital alignment technique, or CAT: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” This tactic is even more orgasmic if your partner’s legs are together and you’re straddling them, says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., a health educator who also teaches at the City University of New York’s City Tech campus. You can achieve the same effect when they’re on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with their clitoris.

3) Opt for specific positions

Speaking of the clitoris, there are some sex positions that come out on top (see what we did there?) when it comes to providing that sought-after stimulation.

According to Gigi Engle, SKYN’s resident sex expert, one of the best sex positions for clitoral contact is the lotus. In this position, you start seated and cross-legged, while your vulva-owning partner sits on your lap facing you and wraps their legs around your back. For a slightly less strenuous modification, you can also try the lotus position seated in a chair.

Engle likes this position because, like with the coital alignment technique, it entails sliding back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.

“It allows for more grinding against your partner’s body for that good old external stimulation,” she Engle.

Rebecca Glass, LMSW, a sex and relationship therapist, notes that cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also stellar positions for getting some clitoral contact because the vulva owner has complete control over the angle of penetration.

4) Pay more attention to their butt

Unless anal is on the menu, butts are typically sidelined during sex. And that’s a shame, because “the buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., an internationally-known relationship expert. To give your partner “a surprising jolt of pleasure,” spread your fingers wide and squeeze their cheeks.

That said, you should ask your partner if they’re into booty squeezing first. If they’re down, be gentle, and take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are people out there who crave a good, hard spanking, but that needs to be discussed and agreed on before the butt smacking begins.

5) Learn what your partner likes, and follow their lead

As we mentioned above, direct, external clitoral stimulation is the most surefire way to bring many vulva-owners to orgasm—and oral sex is a pretty good way of going about that. Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, says that using your mouth is the best way to get a sense of what your partner likes at every stage of arousal, including the stage just before orgasm. You’ll know your partner is becoming more aroused if you notice increased vaginal lubrication or if the external portion of their clitoris or their entire vulva swells. The clitoris—including the wishbone-shaped portion that’s underneath the skin—is made of erectile tissue just like the penis, so if your partner’s genitals increase in size, you’re doing a good job!

To find out more about your partner’s preferences, let them take the lead. When you’re giving them oral sex, get between their legs and give them a solid base of lips, tongue, and even chin (if you have a clean, smooth shave, that is) to rub against. While your partner does the grinding, note how hard they’re pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or mouth to please them.

6) Don’t stop kissing them

Once things get more heated, you might be tempted to focus less on kissing in favour of more X-rated pleasures. But deep kissing is often a must for reaching orgasm, according to a 2017 survey of more than 50,000 adults. The findings revealed that vulva-owners were much more likely to reach orgasm if their sexual encounter included a combination of deep kissing, oral sex, and genital stimulation.

7) Indulge their fantasies

Ask your partner if they have any fantasies they’d like to explore. “Fantasies can increase arousal during a sexual experience,” says Francis. “Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add another layer of pleasure during sex.” It’s also a way to get your partner more psychologically aroused, which is just as important (if not more important) than physical arousal when it comes to having an orgasm. One study found that vulva-owners with lower sexual desire tend to require mental arousal in order to recognise their physical arousal. Try role play or tell your partner an erotic story to kick their pleasure up a notch.

8) Talk dirty to them

“Dirty talk” doesn’t have to include four-letter words. Describe what you’re doing to your partner, or say what you want them to do to you. If you’re hesitant, a simple compliment about how attractive you find your partner will do the trick. And if your partner has told you in advance that they’re turned on by specific words and phrases, pepper those into the dialogue, too.

9) Lube up

No matter how hot and heavy you’re getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful for your partner. While lube is absolutely necessary for anal sex (butts don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do), it’s helpful for vaginal penetration and external stimulation, too—it can even make fingering more pleasurable. “Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs.

Remember that needing lube doesn’t mean your partner isn’t turned on—some bodies just get wetter than others. Plus, medication, hormonal imbalances, menopause, stress, and dehydration can all decrease the body’s natural lubrication, so there’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra slippery stuff. Using lube makes sex more comfortable for everyone involved. In fact, a 2011 study found that using lube enhances sexual pleasure for vulva-owners. Just remember that if you’re using condoms, you should stick with water-based or silicone-based lube, since oil-based lube can damage latex.

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The beginner’s guide to anal sex https://menshealth.com.au/beginners-anal-sex-guide/ https://menshealth.com.au/beginners-anal-sex-guide/#respond Tue, 30 Jan 2024 06:20:17 +0000 https://menshealth.com.au/beginners-anal-sex-guide/ Anal sex is becoming increasingly popular as we as a society explore new paths of pleasure. Here’s what you need to know before you give it a go.

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AS A TEENAGER, anal sex was something you either swore you would never do because it was gross or something you thought you had to do because it was cool. But in reality, anal is just like any other sexual activity – some people like it, some people hate it, and some people have absolutely no idea how to do it.

If you fall into that last category, don’t worry. Having anal sex for the first time can be equal parts terrifying and exciting. If you’re getting ready to get it in the backdoor, you don’t have to go through it blind. This comprehensive guide will cover all of the basics and answer your most important questions about butt sex. We’ll also give you some hot tips on how to enjoy anal, even if you think it might not be your cup of tea.

 

What Is Anal Sex?

 

Anal sex is any sexual activity that involves the stimulation and penetration of the anus. When most people talk about anal sex, they usually mean anal penetration with a penis, but you can also use your fingers or a sex toy.

 

Is Anal Sex Normal?

 

“Normal” is a loaded word because what society considers “abnormal” sexual behaviour today could be considered “normal” a few years down the line. But here’s what we can say: if you’re thinking about having anal sex, you’re definitely not alone.

Anal is much more common than you think. A 2010 survey found that 40% of men and women have engaged in some form of anal sex at least once in their lives. But while around 40% of men have tried anal sex, a whopping 67% of men only give anal sex and don’t receive it. Pornhub also revealed in 2017 that anal is the 7th most-viewed porn category on their site.

So, back to the question: is anal normal? All signs point to yes.

 

Should I Try Anal?

 

Whether or not you should try anal is a personal decision – only you can make that decision for yourself. It’s important to not let anyone pressure you into it. If you’re not 100% enthusiastic about it, you don’t have to do it, no matter what your friends, your partner, or society says.

 

Does Anal Sex Hurt?

 

The anus isn’t like the vagina; it doesn’t produce its own natural lubrication, and it doesn’t “loosen up” and adjust during penetration. If you approach anal sex the same way you approach vaginal sex, it will most likely be painful. So if you’re wondering how to start an anal session properly: relax your muscles, and use generous amounts of lube.

 

Do Women Actually Enjoy Anal Sex?

 

There are a couple of reasons for men to enjoy anal sex. First, the anus is less flexible and much tighter than the vagina, making it extremely pleasurable for the giver. Second, even if anal is becoming increasingly popular, having anal sex is still seen as somewhat taboo. So actually getting to do it is pretty exciting. Men also have something called a prostate, a gland that’s found right at the front of the rectum. Stimulating the prostate feels good and can even lead to orgasm, so it’s no surprise that some men enjoy anal sex even on the receiving end too. But what about women, who don’t have a prostate? Is it still pleasurable for them?

There is no straight answer for this. It’s almost like asking do women actually enjoy pizza? Some women enjoy anal intercourse (and may even prefer it to vaginal sex), while others will say they don’t like it. And a woman who does like anal may not like it all the time, depending on the partner or the circumstances.

 

How To Prepare For Anal Sex 

 

Talk About It

As fun as spontaneous sex is, surprise anal is often more painful than pleasurable. Deciding to do anal is a big step, and you and your partner should talk about it first to make sure you’re on the same page. Discuss boundaries and get ready with a “plan”: when, where, and how you’re going to go about it.

Do Your Research

It’s natural to be nervous, but you’ll be less anxious if you know what to expect. Educate yourself about how to do anal, the things you need to do beforehand, and the safety measures you need to take to have a good time.

Start Slow

While you can theoretically jump from anal virgin to taking an 8-inch dildo up the bum, we definitely don’t recommend it. Penis-in-anus intercourse can be very intimidating, so start with one or two fingers first. You can even try it alone during masturbation if you’re still too shy to explore it with your partner.

Clean Up

We’re going to say it straight up: getting poo on your fingers or your partner’s penis may sound humiliating, but it’s one of the hazards of anal. You can minimise the damage by laying down a towel beforehand, keeping baby wipes and hand sanitiser nearby, and just accepting the fact that it’s not the end of the world if it does happen. Some people also take the extra step by douching or using an enema for a deep clean.

Get Comfortable

When it comes to anal sex positions, everyone has their own preferences. But some positions are easier and more comfortable for beginners than others. Doggy style is probably the first position that comes to mind, but because of the angle, it can get very intense for the bottom. Instead, go for missionary, side sex, or even cowboy to give the receiver more control over the depth and speed.

 

What are the different types of anal sex?

 

Porn has taught us that anal is mostly penetrative. But there are actually three distinct ways that anal play can bring pleasure to women. 40% of women find anal surfacing pleasurable. This is when you make contact around the anus, but don’t penetrate. Anal Shallowing is when minimal penetration is made, which can be just as intense as full penetration. And anal Pairing is a whole new wheelhouse. This when simultaneous anal touching and vaginal penetration take place, which is said to be the most pleasurable of all.

 

What’s the deal with prostate stimulation?

 

Female anal penetration is not the only pleasurable anal experience, a whole range of stimulatory practices for men, centred on prostate stimulation, are there for the taking. Now, more guys are testing the waters to see if prostate stimulation is all its cracked up to be. Although, four out of five men don’t know that the prostate is an erogenous zone. But this knowledge can unlock a whole new world of intense sexual pleasure.

 

Is Anal Sex Safe?

 

One advantage that anal sex has over vaginal penetration is that there is little to no risk of getting pregnant. But anal sex, like any other sexual activity, isn’t completely risk-free. If you have anal sex, you can still get haemorrhoids, bacterial infections, and sexually transmitted diseases. Anal is also the highest-risk sexual activity for HIV, with the bottom or receiving partner being 13 times more at risk of getting infected than the penetrative partner. As always, the best way to avoid contracting infections is by using a condom.

 

Conclusion

 

If we had to leave you with one last piece of advice, it’s this: relax and try to have fun. First-time anal can be overwhelming and scary, but it can also open up a whole world of pleasure for you. 

Oh, and don’t forget the condom and lube!

 

Related:

The best sex toys for men

How to workout for a better, longer sex life

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Wanna Have Multiple Orgasms? Try These Tips and Techniques. https://menshealth.com.au/wanna-have-multiple-orgasms-try-these-tips-and-techniques/ Fri, 26 Jan 2024 04:00:32 +0000 https://menshealth.com.au/?p=54410 Experts put forward the newest batch of tricks and secrets to implement into your sex life, all it takes is a little practice.

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WHEN IT COMES to orgasms, you really can’t have too much of a good thing. While some people with a clitoris are able to have multiple orgasms fairly easily, it tends to be a bit trickier for the penis-owning population, thanks to that pesky refractory period that happens after you ejaculate.

When ejaculation happens, “the parasympathetic nervous system shuts down as the body relaxes,” explains Dr. Lee Phillips, Ed.D, a psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist. “The brain also releases serotonin, which also causes relaxation.” This can make getting hard again straight away—and therefore, having multiple orgasms—a less-than-easy feat.

But did you know that orgasm and ejaculation are two different bodily functions? While they usually function in tandem, an orgasm is actually the release of tension at the height of the sexual response, which then (usually) triggers ejaculation, which in turn induces that refractory period where you can’t get hard.

If only there were ways to orgasm without ejaculating, right?

Oh, wait. There are!

Experts have identified various ways for cisgender men to orgasm multiple times in a row, including through non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm (NEMO) and prostate orgasms. It just takes practice. (Lucky for you, that practice involves masturbation, so this’ll probably be the most fun homework you’ve ever had.)

An added bonus: learning to have multiple orgasms can benefit everyone involved in your sex life.

In this multi-orgasmic practice, there may not be a big ‘ol’ visual finish every time, but the pleasure can be extraordinary. Basically, you begin building your capacity for having orgasms without ejaculation.

Are you intrigued? Let’s break down how you can begin on your multi-orgasmic journey. Because pleasure is the measure and we all deserve to maximise it.

Understanding the Refractory Period—and What It Means for Multiple Orgasms

What makes multiple orgasms difficult for cis men? The refractory period. Once ejaculation happens, the brain and body go into a rest period. Your penis needs time to recoup before it’s up and running for more.

Your body and brain essentially become numb to sexual stimuli for a hot minute. “It is often called the resolution stage of the sexual response system because, after orgasm, the penis returns to a flaccid state and the level of interest in sex usually goes from intense to virtually non-existent,” Phillips says.

This may be annoying, but Philips says that after a certain amount of time, it’ll definitely become possible to get aroused again. Each person’s refractory period depends on their specific body, age, and other life factors. Everyone is different. Research has shown the refractory period can last for a few minutes, hours, or even days.

But what if we just did away with the refractory period altogether in order to join our vulva-owning pals and get on the multi-orgasm train?

Enter: non-ejaculatory orgasms.

Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasms (NEMO)

As we’ve mentioned, we tend to equate penile orgasms with ejaculation, but that’s not exactly the case.

“The orgasm is the part of the sexual experience that happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation,” Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist explained to GQ. “It combines an increase in full-body sensitivity, quickening of breath, and a flood of sensations through the scrotum and penis.

“Ejaculation is the final step of stimulation and involves the release of semen, as well as the neurotransmitters that will send the body into ‘rest and recovery mode,’ or the refractory period.”

While it’s virtually impossible for men to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, you can climax several times in a row if you don’t release any semen. The technique is known as non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm, or NEMO, and involves strengthening your pelvic floor.

What do non-ejaculatory orgasms feel like?

If you think non-ejaculatory orgasms will feel different from regular orgasms, you’re right—so remember to lower your expectations just a little.

“You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms,” says Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta. “They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one.”

How can I have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms?

Strengthen those PC muscles.

As we mentioned earlier, having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is all about controlling your pelvic floor.

“While some men experience multiple orgasms accidentally, others can learn to invite such a reaction,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright.

You can do this with Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and your ability to control orgasmic and ejaculatory responses in the heat of the moment, she says. Your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle—which stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone—controls ejaculation. If you can keep yourself from ejaculating after an orgasm, you’ll be more likely to skip the refractory period and orgasm again—and again, and again.

To perform Kegel exercises, you want to contract the PC muscle as you would when you control the flow of urine as you’re peeing. You can practice Kegels anywhere—like contracting the muscle for 10 seconds while sitting in your car.

Suppress ejaculation while masturbating.

“In studies of men who claim to be multi-orgasmic, researchers have found that some guys just seem to come by it naturally, whereas others have taught themselves to have multiple orgasms,” explains Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want. The men who taught themselves how to be multi-orgasmic did so “by engaging in a lot of masturbatory practice in which they would get to the brink of orgasm, but then prevent ejaculation from occurring, such as by squeezing the penis.”

The key is to get as close as possible to the “point of no return” without actually reaching it. Relationship guru Dan Savage popularised that term, and it refers to when you reach a point either during sex or masturbation when ejaculation is inevitable. No amount of holding off, pressure, or Kegel squeezes will prevent emission.

When practicing how to become multi-orgasmic, it’s necessary to familiarise yourself with your own point of no return and to not cross it. “With enough practice and exercise, these men said that they were ultimately able to have several orgasms when they have sex, with their last one being an ejaculatory orgasm,” Lehmiller says.

Try a different position.

If you have a hard time delaying gratification, switching positions during sex can help you control ejaculation and erection.

Sex therapist Jane Greer suggests trying a sex position where you’re easily able “to stand up and pull out before you ejaculate.” (May we recommend any of these?) “That way, you can tighten your muscles right before the point of ejaculation so you can experience orgasm without ejaculation.”

Focus on your breath.

Bedroom Sex

Lesbian couple lies in bed together, covered with a duvet while their legs are entwined

In The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams dedicate a large portion of their book to the importance of breathing.

Deep “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing” is a key to mitigating ejaculation, explain the authors. When you get close to ejaculating, your breath rate sharply increases as you take short and shallow breaths. This, in turn, also increases your heart rate. Slowing down both will help you better control ejaculating.

To practice belly breathing, sit on a chair with your back straight. Relax your shoulders and place your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply through your nose, and feel your stomach expand. Your chest should not move. Each breath should last for at least three seconds. Get in the habit of doing this type of breathing daily. You can do it at work, while crossing the street, and (especially) when you find yourself stressed. The goal is for belly breathing to become your normal style of breathing.

Now, when you’re in the bedroom, you’ll notice both your breath and heart rate increase. This is when you really want to engage in belly breathing to help slow down your breathing and postpone ejaculation.

Prostate Orgasms

One of the best ways to experience multiple Os without ejaculation? Getting the prostate involved. (Aka: The p-spot). The goal is to have a prostate orgasm (or anal orgasm), a unique and satisfying sensation that doesn’t necessarily involve penile ejaculation. In fact, some penis-owners can have a prostate orgasm without even being hard.

If you want to climax multiple times in one sex session, you can combine prostate and penile orgasms—or just have multiple prostate orgasms!

How can I stimulate my prostate for a multiple orgasmic experience?

Start by yourself.

Taylor Sparks, an intimacy educator and founder of OrganicLoven.com, tells us that the best way to begin this journey is on your own. “This way you have immediate information about what you like/dislike without the need for instructing someone else or concerns about comfort, making the process simpler and more effective.” We have to get to know how our bodies respond before we bring in partners.

Relax the anus.

In order to do any sort of penetration, you have to be fully relaxed. Breathe into your body and bring awareness to the anal opening. Practice relaxing it. When you’re ready to insert a finger, go really, really slowly. Anal play requires patience.

Always use lube.

Lube is your best friend. Do not even think about penetration without a high-quality lubricant. Phillips suggests using a silicone lubricant, as it has a lot more staying power.

Locate the prostate.

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that you can feel through the front wall of your rectum (toward your belly button), about two inches in. Massage it with your finger and see kinds of pressure and patterns feel good. Head here for more detailed instructions on prostate massage.

Use a prostate stimulator.

Try incorporating prostate stimulation using a small toy designed for the prostate such as the Aneros Tempo. “Explore the toy’s placement within the rectum and employ a rocking motion with your wrist joint to apply pressure to the prostate on the front wall.”

Get the penis involved.

Once you have the prostate stim down pat, you can involve the penis. “If you stroke the penis, it can be even more intense,” Phillips says. He suggests taking advantage of prostate toys in tandem with penis stimulation, to really up the sensation. “Tease the prostate with the dildo in a circular motion and edge the penis.”

Just be sure you’re using those deep belly breaths in order to avoid going over the edge. Well, until you’re ready, anyway.

Practice, practice, practice.

If you want to master prostate stimulation, you have to make it a regular part of your masturbation routine.

One More Multiple Orgasm Tip: Check Your T-Levels

Maybe you don’t want to have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms, but just want to shorten your refractory period. In that case, make sure you have optimal testosterone levels—it’ll make your orgasms better, too.

“Low T is often thought of as an older man’s problem, but I see it in a significant portion of men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s,” Stegall says.

Even if your sex drive isn’t particularly low, Stegall advises guys over 30 to get their T-levels checked with a blood test by a doctor who specialises in anti-aging medicine and hormone replacement therapy. FYI, normal testosterone levels are between 300 and 1,000 nanograms per decilitre of blood.

Signs of low T include fatigue, decreased libido, fat gain, difficulty gaining muscle, mental fogginess, and depression.

“If a lot of guys in their 20s and 30s are honest with themselves, they’re probably dealing with at least some of these issues,” Stegall says.

Low testosterone can be boosted naturally by eating a diet high in proteins and healthy fats, sleeping eight hours a night, and by lifting weights three to six times per week.


This article originally appeared on Mens Health U.S

 

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3 Quick Tips For Beating Premature Ejaculation https://menshealth.com.au/3-tips-for-beating-premature-ejaculation/ Thu, 09 Mar 2023 00:18:08 +0000 https://www.menshealth.com.au/?p=50679 If the fun's over before it even gets a chance to start, check out these ideas for delaying the big moment.

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Arriving early may be cool at parties, but when it comes to the bedroom, premature ejaculation (or PE) can be embarrassing, if not distressing. A quick finish can deliver a swift blow (no pun intended) to confidence levels, leaving penis owners worried about how they measure up between the sheets.

If you’re popping bottles sooner into the celebration than you’d like, you’re not alone – according to Everyday Health, doctors estimate between 20 and 30 per cent of all men will experience premature ejaculation at some stage of their lives, and according to Australian sexual wellness brand, Frenchie, one in every three men in Australia suffers from premature ejaculation.

Now, just so we’re all on the same page about what actually constitutes PE, we’re not talking about going for half an hour when you were hoping for an all-night romp. “Acquired premature ejaculation” includes any sexual encounter that lasts less than three minutes, according to a scientific paper published in the the The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The good news is, if you’re running a sprint rather than a marathon, there’s plenty you can to turn things around and slow your roll, as it were.

1. Invest in a ‘delay spray’

A numbing spritz is an easy on-the-go, in-the-moment option if you’re looking to make sex last longer, and Frenchie’s new L’Endurance delay spray is our pick. Crafted from clinically tested ingredients that are regulatory approved and used by healthcare professionals around the world, the spray-on product is pharmacy formulated and comes in a discreet pump bottle.

 
 
 
 
 
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A post shared by FRENCHIE®️ (@get.frenchie)

Active agents such as lidocaine and prilocaine can help numb things down, increasing the time between penetration and ejaculation. The spray takes effect within 15-20 minutes of application, but do remember to apply as directed and wipe off before the fun starts so as to avoid numbness for your partner.

2. Do the right workout

Yes, really – you can train yourself to last longer. How so? It’s all about strengthening your pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder and bowel, and affect sexual function. Weak pelvis floor muscles can make it harder to delay ejaculation.

To boost this bit of your body, think hip thrusts, kettlebell swings, thrusts, thrusts and more thrusts to switch those kegels into gear, as well as specific kegel exercises. Want a pelvic floor program? No worries – this is the exact workout you need to help you beat premature ejaculation. It’s important to remember that not all PE dramas can be solved with a workout – be sure to chat to your GP about whether this is the right option for you.

3. Get savvy in the moment

Okay, this little trick doesn’t necessarily delay the climax itself, but it’s a banger of a move that your partner will probably enjoy (like, a lot) if they happen to have a clitoris. According to sex therapist and author of She Comes First, Ian Kerner, using your penis in some different ways can be the key to climaxing when you want.

“Perpendicular sex positions allow for clitoral stimulation without penetration, which can help you last longer,” he previously told Men’s Health.

“Instead of penetrating, press your shaft lengthwise against her clitoris and gently move it back and forth… When she’s getting close, switch to a more stimulating position. With luck she’ll reach orgasm first, even if you ejaculate within a minute or so.”

Of course, if you have any concerns at all about PE, it’s important visit your doctor. They can help you figure out what’s causing you to pop off before the party really gets started and offer advice on possible treatment options.

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The Average Penis Size Has Increased – But Scientists Are Concerned https://menshealth.com.au/average-penis-size-increased-scientists-concerned/ Wed, 01 Mar 2023 04:29:01 +0000 https://www.menshealth.com.au/?p=50547 A study of men around the world has found that the average penis size is 24% bigger than it was 30 years ago. This might sound like good news, but experts are worried it could be a sign of increased infertility.

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In what feels like an accomplishment for men all around the world, a new study published in the World Journal of Men’s Health has found that the global average penis size has grown massively. Before you celebrate, you should know that scientists are saying this is cause for concern. With experts warning that our collective sudden growth could be a sign of increased infertility and worsening reproductive health. “If the findings were the opposite, everybody would be freaking out,” said infertility specialist Dr James Hotaling.

We can finally put the age-old question of whether or not size matters to bed. It turns out size does matter – but not in the way you might expect. Scientists say that the increased size in our downstairs department could be the result of unhealthy habits like a bad diet, sedentary lifestyle, or even chemical pollution. No matter the cause, any change is worrying. “Any overall change in development is concerning because our reproductive system is one of the most important pieces of human biology,” said study author Dr Michael Eisenberg. “If we’re seeing this fast of a change, it means that something powerful is happening to our bodies.”

For the record, the study found that the global average erect penis size is now six inches, or just over 15 centimetres. So, if you wanted to see how you measure up to the average, half the length of a standard 30cm ruler is the benchmark. That’s a lot bigger than many would expect. And it’s a massive change from the average of 4.8 inches from 30 years ago, which is what has left scientists dumbfounded.

Dr Eisenberg actually expected the average to have decreased in the last three decades. Given the well documented research on declining sperm counts and testosterone levels, Eisenberg figured that the data would show that penises are shrinking. “Given the trends we’d seen in other measures of men’s reproductive health, we thought there could be a decline in penile length due to the same environmental exposures,” he said.

Eisenberg and his team collected a range of data from 75 studies conducted across the world. The studies they selected date as far back as 1942 and held the intimate information of almost 56,000 men. The recent phallic inflation wasn’t localised to a single overly optimistic region either. The growth trend was obvious all over the world. As Eisenberg explained, “This was not isolated to a specific population.”

Penis size

Unfortunately, our collective penile growth is not an accomplishment worth celebrating. Sure, most guys would love to tack on a little extra length, but it seems a few more centimetres is probably a bad thing. Scientists just don’t know what’s causing it.

Dr Eisenberg has a few theories on what has caused the unexplained increase. Suggesting chemical exposure as a potential factor. Mostly from pesticides and hygiene products which can mess with the endocrine system and hormones. That’s not his only idea, putting forward earlier puberties as another possible cause. Boys have been reaching puberty earlier, which Eisenberg says could be giving their bodies more time to grow. But at a time when sperm counts are lower than ever, it looks likely that infertility is the root cause of the development.

Dr Anthony Youn proposes a different reason to explain the increase. Youn says that data on penis size can become skewed because men with smaller penises typically don’t want to volunteer information on their members. Meaning the real average is likely lower than the statistics show.

While this study has revealed the worsening state of men’s reproductive health, there is some good that can come out of this research. Dr Hotaling said he hopes the study will encourage men who are on the fence about their health to talk to a doctor. “Anything that gets men thinking about their health is good.”

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5 Reasons Why Your Penis Might Turn Purple https://menshealth.com.au/why-your-penis-might-turn-purple/ Tue, 28 Feb 2023 03:59:37 +0000 Little known fact: the original song title was actually "Flying Purple Penis Eater."

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For the most part, you probably think that “penis” and “changing colour” are two terms that should never be in the same sentence. But in some contexts, it’s totally normal for your penis to change colour — like, for instance, when you’re aroused, explains Dr. S. Adam Ramin, medical director of Urology Cancer Specialists in Los Angeles. The tip of your penis may turn a deep red or purplish colour before or during sex or while you masturbate, which is caused by the increased blood flow to your penis that helps you get and keep an erection.

But if you’re not in the mood, a colour change down there could be a legit cause for concern. Here are 5 unexpected reasons why your penis could take on an alarming shade of Prince purple, and what you should do about it.

You may have bruised your penis

Bruising happens when an injury causes tiny blood vessels under your skin to leak. That can make your skin turn purple, blue, green, or even black.
Catching your penis in your zipper, getting hit or bumping into something, or just having rough sex are all common causes, says Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, a urologic surgeon and co-director of The PUR Clinic. You might be more susceptible if you take blood-thinning medication, which can cause bruising to happen more easily.

The good news? Mild bruises usually don’t hurt much (yup, even on your penis), and they’ll start to fade on their own within a few days, Brahmbhatt says. If that doesn’t happen or if you experience severe pain, call your doc.

You may have broken your penis

Yes, this can happen. Even though your penis doesn’t actually have any bones, it does have ligaments and tissue that can overstretch or even bend. That can lead to intense bruising, swelling, and a deep purple colour, Dr. Brahmbhatt says.

This is most likely to occur during rough sex, since an erection makes your penis less flexible and more prone to bending in a way that it shouldn’t. But penile fractures can also result from intense trauma, like getting severely injured in a car accident.

If your penis is fractured, you’ll likely hear a popping sound followed by a sharp, sudden pain, swelling, and deep discolouration. “In the worst cases, the penis may resemble an eggplant,” says Dr. Brahmbhatt.

The best thing to do is head to the ER right away. Penile fractures usually require surgery, and waiting too long can put you at risk for future difficulty getting erections.

You might be having an allergic reaction

“Many types of medications can trigger allergic reactions,” says Dr. Ramin. The most likely culprits are usually antibiotics, pain relievers (like acetaminophen or ibuprofen), and anti-seizure or antipsychotic meds. That can sometimes result in a purplish rash on your skin — including, yup, your penis.

If the rash is accompanied by skin peeling or pain, it could be a condition called Stevens-Johnson syndrome. While Stevens-Johnson syndrome is rare, it affects men twice as often as it does women, and having an autoimmune disorder can also up your risk, says Dr. Ramin.

If you notice a rash after taking medication, call your doctor. He’ll refer you to a dermatologist, who can evaluate the rash and determine whether it’s caused by an allergic reaction.

You might have purpura

Purpura is characterised by small, purple bumps on the skin, often on the penis, buttocks, lower legs, or elbows. The bumps form when the blood vessels under your skin start to leak. The bumps usually aren’t painful, but they can be accompanied by abdominal pain, joint pain, or swelling and pain in the scrotum.

Purpura on the penis is usually the result of an autoimmune reaction that triggers inflammation. “The body’s immune system attacks its own blood vessels, causing the vessels [in the penis] to become inflamed,” Dr. Ramin says. That inflammation is what causes the purple colour.

Luckily, purpura is a lot less scary than it looks. If you see any of these symptoms, call your doctor, who might recommend anti-inflammatory drugs to help clear up the bumps and reduce your discomfort, says Dr. Ramin.

You might have an STD

If you spot a purple sore on your member, it’s possible that the culprit is herpes or syphilis. Herpes sores are more common and usually start out as a blister, which develops into a painful red or purple sore that oozes clear or yellowish fluid. Syphilis can cause red or purple spots that are firm, round, and painless.

Either way, you should see a doctor immediately. When caught early, syphilis can be cured with antibiotics. While you can’t get rid of the herpes virus, proper treatment can help you manage outbreaks, and antiviral meds can reduce the pain and help the sores heal.

Avoid sexual contact if you are being treated for a STI, and if you test negative, always practice safe sex regardless.

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